Spongebob Quits!
by BIG BOWSER
Summary: Spongebob quits his job at the Krusty Krab! All hell breaks loose!


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Spongebob so please don't sue me because I am only 13 if I really did own Spongebob that would be awesome. All I really own is this fanfic

Setting #1: The Krusty Krab

Spongebob: "Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise?"

Mr. Krabs: "Hell No!"

Spongebob: "But, Mr. Krabs!"

Mr. Krabs: "I SAID NO!"

Spongebob: "BUT I'M THE BEST FUCKING FRY COOK IN BIKINI BOTTOM!"

Mr. Krabs: "No you're not. I could find someone twice as good as you!"

Spongebob: "Do it then! Because I QUIT!"

(Spongebob storms out of the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: "I can't believe it! Spongebob actually quit! (nasally laughs)"

Mr. Krabs: "Um… how the hell do you make a Krabby Patty?"

Squidward: "You should know, you made the secret formula."

Mr. Krabs: "You're right."

Setting #2: Spongebob's house

Spongebob: "What am I gonna do Gary? Without a job I'm toast!"

Gary: "Meow."

Spongebob: "You're right. I'd be a crispy sponge. Not toast."

Gary: "Meow."

Spongebob: "You're right. I made 52¢ a year. You always paid for everything."

Gary: "Meow."

Spongebob: "I wonder how things are going without me."

Setting #1: The Krusty Krab

Man: "Give me my fucking krabby patty!"

Woman: "We're starving!"

Squidward: "What's the hold up?"

Mr. Krabs: "These krabby patties are burnt!"

Squidward: "So? Give them away anyway!"

Mr. Krabs: "Here are your krabby patties."

Customers: "Yay!"

(Everyone scarves down there krabby patties)

Man 1: "My stomach is fucked up man!"

Man 2: "Mine too."

Woman: "These patties taste like shit!"

Customers: "We want our money back."

Mr. Krabs: "No refunds!"

Man 1: "Son of a bitch!"

(Customers storm out of the restaurant)

Mr. Krabs: "Yeah, fuck off ya little bitches!"

Squidward: "What are we going to do?"

Setting #3: The Chum Bucket

Plankton: "Ooh! The Krusty Krab is deserted!"

Karen: "Yes. Spongebob quit a half hour ago."

Plankton: "Really?"

Karen: "Yes, really."

Plankton: "Since the Krusty Krab doesn't have decent food customers will come crawling to the chum bucket!"

Karen: "You do know that neither one of us has decent food."

Plankton: "Blast it!"

Karen: "Sucks to be you right now."

Plankton: "Shut the fuck up Karen!"

Setting #2: Spongebob's house

Gary: "Meow?"

Spongebob: "Why does it matter? I can be making krabby patties in the living room if I want!"

Gary: "Meow?"

Spongebob: "No I do not miss the Krusty Krab! The Krusty Krab can suck my balls!"

Gary: "Meow."

Spongebob: "I'll get your food later Gary."

Setting #3: Squidward's house

Squidward: "That damn sponge cost me my job!"

Squidward: "Where the fuck am I gonna work now?"

(Someone knocks on Squidward's door)

Squidward: "Who the hell could that be?"

Spongebob: "Hey Squidward, can I fuck…?"

Squidward: "No."

(Slams door)

Squidward: "Gaysponge Queerpants. Knocking on my door asking if he can fuck my ass? Why doesn't he fuck Patrick's ass?"

Setting #4 Patrick's house

(Someone knocks on Patrick's door)

Patrick: "Who in the hell could that be?"

Spongebob: "Hey Pat, I was wondering… Since I'm out of a job I'll have more time to fuck your ass."

Patrick: "Go on."

Spongebob: "Can I fuck your ass right now?"

Patrick: "Fuck yeah, I've been masturbating for like 3 hours!"

Spongebob: "OK, creepy."

Patrick: "Let's do it!"

Spongebob: "OK!"

(Spongebob and Patrick have sex for 8 hours)

Spongebob: "That was awesome!"

Patrick: "I know right!"

Spongebob: "Now I'm gonna think about you every time I masturbate!"

Patrick: "Me too!"

Setting #5 Mr. Krabs' house

Mr. Krabs: "What am I gonna do? I need to get Spongebob back!"

Pearl: "Who gives a shit?"

Mr. Krabs: "Shut up, bitch."

Pearl: "Why don't you just get the fuck away from me?"

Mr. Krabs: "I will. I'm gonna get my #1 fry cook back!"

Setting #2: Spongebob's house

Gary: "MEOW!"

Spongebob: "What? You know not to walk in on me like that!"

Gary: "Meow?"

Spongebob: "What? Having sex with a krabby patty is totally normal."

(Someone knocks on Spongebob's door)

Spongebob: "Flying fuck! I'm naked! Gary, you get the door."

Mr. Krabs: "Hi Gary, where's Spongebob?"

Gary: "Meow."

Mr. Krabs: "I didn't need to know that."

Spongebob: "Are you here to give me that raise?"

Mr. Krabs: "Yes, how much?"

Spongebob: "Add 4 zeros to my yearly profits and we got a deal."

Mr. Krabs: "$5,200? No way!"

Spongebob: "Come on! That's $100 a fucking week! It's not that bad!"

Mr. Krabs: "(sadly) OK. Do I have to give Squidward a raise?"

Spongebob: "Hell no. In fact dock his pay."

Mr. Krabs: "But I don't pay him anything!"

Spongebob: "Then make him pay you."

Mr. Krabs: "I like the way you think boy. You've got yourself a deal."

Spongebob: "Yippee!"

Mr. Krabs: "Bye. I'm gonna go fuck me money."

Spongebob: "What the…?"

That was my story. I hope you like it! Please review!


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